Dragonlance Legends in a Nutshell
by Silverlilies
Summary: It's back! Now enjoy the Legends compressed into several short and easily digestable chapters. Accuracy not guaranteed.


**Dragonlance Legends in a Nutshell**

Time of the Twins Prologue:

Book #4628: Once upon a time in a kingdom far away, there was a princess. One day, an evil wizard kidnapped the princess and tried to take over the kingdom using the princess as a hostage. However, Prince Charming came, battled a dragon, killed the wizard, and saved the princess. They got married and lived happily ever after. The End.

Crysania: … WHAT IS THIS CRAP! IS THERE NOTHING TO READ INSIDE ASTINUS'S ROOM THAT'S NOT A FAIRY TALE! WHERE IS THAT RAISTLIN ANYHOW! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FIVE HOURS! (sulking)

Bertrem (timidly): Excuse me miss, but…

Crysania (turns into evil demon from the Abyss): IS THAT MAGE HERE YET!

Bertrem (cowering): Ma'am, I'm afraid that he has not yet arrived (cringes as Crysania hurls a chair at him) but, er, Master Astinus will be here soon. (runs/scuffles away from the room)

Crysania (hyperventilating): I was living in the dumps when some agency recruited me to act as some goody-two-shoes cleric, but all the money in the world isn't enough to placate me. I spent FIVE HOURS in this crazy room with nothing but fairy tales! I QUIT!

Author (pops out like a genie): I'm afraid you can't do that. You signed a contract with me, remember? (uses author senses to pick up the RHAS (Raistlin-Has-Arrived-Signal)) Oh! He's here!

Crysania (suddenly turns cold and calm): How wonderful. Please, let him in so I can _welcome_ him. (Coughing fit that sounds like an evil laugh)

Author (me, silverlilies): Good luck! (vanishes in a poof of smoke)

Scene Switch to the entrance to the Great Library of Palanthas…

Dalamar (steadily being choked by his shalafi's 'hug' and wearing bunny ears): H-hel-p sav-ve mee (cough)

Raistlin (tightens his grip): NO! No one's going to separate me from my bunny-chan! (tightens his grip some more)

Astinus: Dalamar, go away! You don't appear for another chapter!

Dalamar: (vanishes)

Raistlin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY BUNNY-CHAN!

Astinus: Just get into my room already! That lady's driving me insane!

Raistlin (pops into Astinus's Room): Me want bunny-chan! (pouts)

Crysania (sweet dulcet tone): You're here! (Proceeds to beat the living crap out of Raistlin)

Later…

Crysania (smiling): I feel better now!

Raistlin (bruised&battered): My daughter, your sin is forgiven! (coughing fit)

Crysania (in ominous voice): You useless holy man! The Forces of Evil see all, hear all, speak all, and know all! We know that you are in fact…SAVING BUNNIES FROM THE GREAT BUNNIES HUNT!

Raistlin: NO! You can't know that! (wipes some blood from his mouth with his never ending supply of blood wiping cloths)

Crysania: Yes we can! Your apprentice told us everything!

Raistlin (breaks into tears): NO! DALLY-CHAN! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME! HOW! (waterfall of tears –lol-)

Raistlin (suddenly all tears vanish): No matter! The forces of good will vanquish you! Love, Honor, and Justice will triumph in the end! They always do! (strikes a pose (think Sailor Moon))

(The two then proceed to argue about good, evil, etc.)

Three hours later…

Raistlin (panting heavily): Why on Krynn are we arguing about whether Mishakal wears cerulean or marine blue underwear!

Crysania (panting just as heavily): You were the one who brought up the Disks of Mishakal being a grayish, plantinum color.

Raistlin: That's because they are made out of platinum.

Crysania: (sticks tongue out) I'm supposed to be the cleric here!

Raistlin: (sticks tongue out) Well you were the one ranting about the greatness of the forces of evil!

Two Hours Later…

Raistlin&Crysania: (collapse in exhausted heap) So…tired…

Astinus (flipping through the accursed script): Now is the time to invite that cleric to your tower, old friend.

Raistlin (looks up): Do I know you?

Astinus (annoyed): Whatever! Just do it!

Raistlin (goes down on one knee like in those cheesy romance movies): Oh Crysania, I would be honored if you would accept this token (a diamond ring appears in his hand in a velvet case, like in those cheesy romance movies) an- (hit by a book (Chronicles of Astinus Volume 654 to be exact))

Astinus (vein popping out of his head): You weren't supposed to propose (hey, that rhymes!)! You were supposed to invite her to your tower! Now give her the charm!

Raistlin: But that's soooooo not dramatic.

Astinus (HUGE vein popping out of his head): Just kiss her and get it over with!

(Raistlin and Crysania kiss)

Astinus: Finally! This blasted prologue took too long!

Author: We're done here! So, would you two stop that! (the two characters are still glued together) Ugh! Why am I doing this! Oh well, we still have a chapter to write!

Astinus: I QUIT! (no one notices him, so he storm out of the place)

Bertrem: Yes! I am now…(smoke, and then he appears dressed like Astinus) ASTINUS II !

(He tries to strut off the stage but trips over nothing and pulls a cord)

The Curtains Close…

To Be Continued…

Author's corner:

Silverlilies: Arigatou gozaimasu, minna! (bows deeply)

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Silverlilies: I am very grateful to anyone who's read this story. I was really bored (it's Summer Break, and I haven't visited the library for a really long time) and decided to do this little intro to Dragonlance Legends in a Nutshell.

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Silverliles: As of now, I am uncertain whether or not to continue this story. So please send your opinion whether it's "keep on writing! I love you!" or "do us all a favor and unplug your computer right now!"

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Silverlilies: I was given two options in my characterization of Crysania; either make her an even more fanatical holy cleric (if possible) or make her completed OOC (Out of Character). I picked the latter. Actually, everyone's somewhere out there in the land of OOC characters. Lol.

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Silverlilies: I'll be moving in a few days, so I won't update anything for a while. It could be a week or a month before I get on a computer again. TT So Asuka-chan in Wonderland and this fic will all be on hold, not that anyone would notice, as infrequently as I update. Lol.

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Silverliles: Thanks for bearing with me! I hope you enjoyed the story! (bows deeply again)

Little Sister of Mine (sitting across from me as I type this): Baka.

Author's corner-Owari


End file.
